Murder on the Orient Express

First Hit:  I was bored through and through.

I’m not a Kenneth Branagh fan and he doesn’t disappoint here. The whole film from the very beginning was over-done and confusing. The opening sequence is an elongated setup to prove that Hercule Poirot (Branagh) is the very best detective of all time. Solving a crime at the wailing wall where the accused, a priest, a Rabbi, and a Imam are accused of stealing an important object from where an icon stands in a temple. Of course, the world greatest detective pontificates in front of a huge crowd as he explains the story in excruciating detail and finally accuses someone else. The capturing of the real criminal in front of the crowd was too obvious.

His friendship with the director of the Orient Express train from Istanbul to Europe gets him a first-class accommodation on the train. There are numerous characters on the train; Bouc (Tom Batemen), Pilar Estravados (Penelope Cruz), Princess Dragomiroff (Judi Dench), Samuel Ratchett/John Cassetti (Johnny Depp), Hector McQueen (Josh Gad), Edward Henry Masterman (Derek Jacob), Dr. Arbuthnot (Leslie Odom), Caroline Hubbard/Linda Arden (Michelle Pfeiffer), Mary Debenham (Daisy Ridley), Pierre Michel (Marwan Kenzari) and a few others.

The murder of Samuel Rachett/Johnb Cassetti, one night in his cabin, sets Poirot off on finding out who killed him. This is where the film just sinks. It acts as more as a play than a mystery film. The pontificating by Poirot gets old very quick.

The train stopped, because of an avalanche, is supposed to make finding out who the killer is easier. However, everyone has a link to the murder of a young girl many years earlier by Cassetti and therefore everyone is vested in having Ratchett/Cassetti killed.

As Poirot puts the pieces together, the audience has to wait and wade through all the extraneous drama and storytelling.

The showdown scene where he’s going to name the killer Poirot stands in front of a long table with all the others on one side of the table facing him, just like the last supper. Really? This is so over done it becomes tedious just sitting there waiting for the end.

Yes, it is a matter of justice being served correctly and retroactively but the way we get here is a time waster. Branagh comes across as self-important both in the film and of the film. He just can't seem to get out of his own way. His poor direction makes him the standout actor and it’s noticeable. Pfeiffer was probably the best of the lot, as she had a strong role and delivered despite the direction. Depp was mediocre as the villain and he tries to do more with series of looks versus acting. Gad was OK as was the rest of the acting team. Michael Green wrote an Okay script. Given better direction and less Branagh egocentricity of having to be elevated above and separate from the role/film and rest of the cast, it might have been a better or more interesting film.

Overall: This movie was mostly “telling” versus “showing” and because of this, I just had to wait until it was over to leave.

Black Mass

First Hit:  Very disappointing film as there is little substance about Whitey’s motivation to be the criminal he was.

I was looking forward to seeing this film, because I thought I’d learn something about James “Whitey” Bulger, the man who was on the FBI’s 10 most wanted lists for years.

I learned very little except he, as Johnny Depp played him, had a brother named Billy (Benedict Cumberbatch) that was a State Senator, his childhood friend named John Connolly (Joel Edgerton) was an FBI agent, and that he became an FBI informant to further his criminal career. But there was nothing about what drove Whitey to his life of crime and even more, nothing around the deeper motivation for his killing and crime spree.

The side story about Connolly was mediocre and, in this film, it was obvious his association with Whitey was ill-used and inappropriate. It was bad script-writing, poor direction, poor acting and/or a combination of any of these resulting in the audience being un-engaged while the payoff never arrived.

Depp had a great look for the film, and it appears he did what the script and director called for, but there wasn’t enough there to make it interesting. Cumberbatch was excellent in his small role and his meetings with Connolly were perfectly executed. Edgerton was OK, and it issue seemed to be the way the script was written and how the director wanted him to be emphatic about how Whitey was helping the FBI. It just didn’t see it working as a real story. Mark Mallouk and Jez Butterworth wrote the script that lacked backstory as to why Whitey took up a life of crime while his brother became a State Senator. Scott Cooper didn’t seem to see how the way he filmed this story lacked interest. The subject is a fascinating one, but it was all lost within intense vignettes.

Overall:  This film lacked depth and interest.

Mortdecai

First Hit:  What a wasted piece of fluff.

There is nothing interesting about the characters and with this cast it's shocking. Although I’m not a Johnny Depp (Mortdecai) fan here he is just bad with a bad script.

He plays an eccentric English Lord who is going broke and married to his college sweetheart Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow). She rules the roost and there is little that tells the film’s audience why she is married to him. There is a second story in this film about him growing a mustache.

This is where the comedy comes in, from time to time. Ewan McGregor (another great actor) plays Martland a British investigator, friend of Mortdecai, and longs for Johanna. Really? Paul Bettany plays Mortdecai’s man servant Jock and he’s the best thing in the film. The storyline is bad and the acting, for the most part, is worse.

Depp is difficult to watch. The fake spacer between his front teeth was way too obvious and the character wasn’t interesting at all. Paltrow tried to rise above the character and film, but it just didn’t work. McGregor tried to play it straight but this role in this film as a waste of his energy. Bettany was fun to watch and made his scenes interesting. Eric Aronson wrote a silly script that didn’t have a good focus. David Koepp had a bad script, great actors and no idea where he was going.

Overall:  This was a waste of my time – as well as the actor’s time.

Into The Woods

First Hit:  Outside a few funny bits, I was mostly bored.

I know better than to go to musicals. They are a genre of films I find, for the most part, distasteful.

There have been a few where the music is more clearly a part of the film and its dialogue works. Here many of the lyrics seem to be developed just to create amusement all while the singer is singing the song seriously.

I kept hoping for the film to end and it just wouldn’t. Crisping it up to 90 minutes might have helped but the major issue I saw was that the filmmakers tried to take three fairy tales, create an additional fourth and then encompass the first three into an interesting story. It didn't work for me.

Anna Kendrick (as Cinderella) and Meryl Streep (as the Witch) can clearly sing. The songs failed them. Emily Blunt as the Baker’s wife can also sing well. James Corden as the Baker was expressive. I found that the singing of Lilla Crawford (Little Red Riding Hood) and Daniel Huttlestone (as Jack in the Beanstock fame) to be too much. There was simply too much singing from them. It caused me to dislike their characters. Johnny Depp (as the Big Bad Wolf) was wasteful and uninspired. And although Chris Pine was pretty much tongue-in-cheek the entire time, he was amusing. James Lapine wrote the screenplay and it failed in most all aspects. Rob Marshall directed this in a darkened unclear way.

Overall:  This was truly a forgetful film.

The Lone Ranger

First Hit:  This film is a waste of the audiences’ time and Walt Disney would have never approved of releasing something like this.

The plot is mediocre, the acting is mediocre, the characters are poorly drawn-out, the concept is second-rate and it is painful to watch.

Briefly; John Reid (Armie Hammer) is an intellectual guy who grew up in the in the southwest and gets deputize by his brother to find a killer named Bruce Cavendish (William Fichtner). He gets shot and is left for dead.

Tonto (Johnny Depp) is a Comanche ousted by his tribe but decides to save Reid. Together they make up a team that tries to write the wrongs of Cavendish, railroad builder Cole (Tom Wilkinson) and the US Government’s actions towards the Native Americans.

Through a convoluted story line, we have Tonto being somewhat smart and serious, working to assist a slightly dimwitted Reid (AKA Lone Ranger) to right these wrongs. Yes, the concept is poor and way too big for the characters.

Hammer is not interesting in this leading role. And, although he's in the leading role, he is not the leading character. Depp is more interesting, appears to be the leading character, but seeing high-tech tattoos (his back and front) in a couple of scenes, made me realize that even good makeup doesn’t always work. This showed part of the flaws and the lack of carefulness of this film. Fichtner is meanly good enough to be a villain. Wilkinson is OK as someone who is only to get as much as he can. Ruth Wilson (as Rebecca Reid – John’s brothers’ wife) is one of the better characters and holds her part of the film together very well. Justin Haythe and Ted Elliot wrote a convoluted, unmanageable, and almost unfilmable screenplay. Gore Verbinski directed this like he did Pirates of the Caribbean films and the problem is he forgot that the Lone Ranger is a TV legend while the pirates weren’t.

Overall:  This film can be passed over and it will not matter except to the people who invested in it because they will probably lose money.