The Kingsman: The Golden Circle

First Hit:  Terrible story with few bright spots.

What a waste of talent. How do Julianne Moore (Poppy), Taron Egerton (Eggsy), Colin Firth (Harry Hart – whose character died in previous film), Channing Tatum (Tequila), Halle Berry (Ginger), Jeff Bridges (Champ) and Elton John (as himself) all sign up for a story that has disaster written all over it? I don’t know. Maybe the Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn script read better than it worked out to be. Maybe it was Vaughn’s issue because he couldn't deliver what he envisioned in his mind.

I just don’t know, how this happened. Besides a couple reasonable fight scenes and a couple slightly amusing tongue-in-cheek scenes, the premise that Poppy was going to blackmail the President of the United States so that she could freely sell her drugs all over the world, was preposterous.

Maybe the film needed to be WAY over the top in the tongue-in-cheek category to work.

Hart died in the previous film, and to make-up a story that he miraculously survived the shooting by some someone using a FEDEX  or UPS looking plastic bubble wrap around his head and followed by an emotional shock to make him be the same person as before is ludicrous.

Anyway, the Kingsman, who have a limited crew, with Merlin (Mark Strong), Eggsy and the partially defective Hart, are trying to find and destroy Charlie (Edward Holcroft) who makes an attempt to kill Eggsy. Charlie blows-up the country mansion and the tailor shop in London and now want Eggsy. Charlie being a shunned former Kingsman, unbeknownst to Eggsy, is really working for Poppy. Poppy is running her drug trade in a lost city in a jungle. She’s turned it into a 1950’s style base of operations. Really? This is the setup. Really, I kid you not.

Then the writers add this: For help, The Kingsman team up with the Statesman, which is run by Champ. The Statesman is the US version of the Kingsman; an independent spy security agency. It is run out of a distillery, hence the names of their agents, Tequila and Whiskey (Pedro Pascal). Now this is exciting! But wait, there's more...

Not only does Poppy build robotic dogs to protect herself, she likes being entertained, so she has hired Elton John to play songs for her in an empty theater anytime she likes. Elton does have a couple other key momentary appearances, but he’s not an actor and it shows.

Egerton is, at times, fun to watch but the script is so disjointed and unfounded that it lets him and the role down. Moore’s role is hopeless. She attempts to be part tongue-in-cheek and part serious, but because the role is ill defined in an ill-defined movie, it falls flat. Firth seems so out of place in this role it just made me cringe. He needed to stay dead. Strong was one bright spot in the film and his centered acting made his role work. Berry was driven to be so much less than what she is by the role. She's made to be a girl Friday and I disliked her scenes completely. Bridges' role was insipid. That he chose to act in this film is disheartening. Holcroft was good as the maniac bionic armed villain. He made it work. Pascal didn’t fit in this film at all. He seemed out of place and it was clear from the beginning, he wasn’t on the side he said he was on. Tatum was fun at times and it seemed as though he was used in this film as eye candy for a female audience. He added little to the story. John can stay away from acting, even as himself. Goldman and Vaughn script was a mess from the beginning to the end. Vaughn had no vision as a director to deliver a story that would engage the audience. The film was thrown at the audience.

Overall:  Don’t waste your time for this insipid film.

Lucky Logan

First Hit:  Funny at times but lacked intrigue and substance.

Director Steven Soderbergh had previously indicated he’d quit making films.  I guess it wasn't true. Here he made a film that could be compared with his other action crime films, Oceans 11 through 13, although dumbed down. You'd think think he had the formula down, but he must not have, this one didn't work.

Maybe the mistake was thinking that making the same kind of robbery/crime film with people that aren’t very bright would be interesting or compelling. Unfortunately, it wasn't as it because the storyline didn't translate out of Las Vegas at all. Although he tried to reduce the complexity of the crime and dumb things down because of the characters, it didn’t work because the actual details to pull off this crime and the reveal at the end, weren’t believable.

Jimmy Logan (Channing Tatum) is a doting and wonderful father to Sadie (Farrah Mckenzie). His former wife, Bobbie Jo Chapman (Katie Holmes), is antagonistic towards him but she does see his love for their daughter. He gets fired from his job, through no real fault of his own, because of a old football injury. He does appear to have some smarts about him.

His brother Clyde (Adam Driver) is slow and not very bright. He lost his arm in the Iraq war and has a prosthetic that is somewhat useless to him as a bartender in a local dive. Jimmy also has a sister Mellie (Riley Keogh) who runs a small town beauty salon and knows a hell of a lot about cars.

The location is significant because it is near the Charlotte Motor Speedway.

The Logan clan needs money, so the brothers decide to rob the speedway. Hatching a plan, they decide they need to blow up a safe and decide to hire an incarcerated Joe Bang (Daniel Craig), who is an expert at blowing up safes. Upon hearing the plan, Joe tells Jimmy and Clyde that he'll need his slow hick brothers Fish (Jack Quaid) and Sam (Brian Gleeson) to help him. He wants them to get the explosives and to break the raceway’s computer payment system. The brothers quote was priceless: “I knows all about them twitters and such”, this gives the audience an idea of their ilk.

This team does come up with an ingenious plan to get Joe out of prison without the prison knowing, rob the raceway, and take the heat off them after the robbery. However, the ending leaves a question as to whether they will get away with it as Special Agent Sarah Grayson (Hilary Swank), who seems to be the smartest person in the film, bellies up to the bar in the end and starts talking with Clyde.

Tatum was good, but I didn’t buy his perceived dumbness nor his smartness, and maybe that was the point. Driver was OK as a slow dedicated brother. He almost came across at too dumb. Keogh was fantastic as the smart as a whip sister that knew how to control what she needed to control. Mckenzie was excellent as Tatum’s and Holmes’ daughter. She was very engaging to watch. Holmes was OK as mother and former wife. Craig was odd in this role. There was something that didn’t work for me as him being a hick. However, he did create an over the top character. Quaid and Gleeson were very good in their dumb brother roles and it appears they’ve picked up the acting chops of their parents. Rebecca Blunt wrote the screenplay. What didn’t work was not making the characters believable. Their actions and a lack of character depth created too many questions about the story. Soderbergh made some of the comedy work, but the weakness, for me, lay in the believability of the characters and congruency of their actions.

Overall:  This film is funny at times, but fails where it really needs to be strong, pulling plausibility out of characters and their actions.

Hail, Ceasar!

First Hit:  An odd film and despite the star power, lacks being interesting let alone good.

You’ve got Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Tilda Swinton, Frances McDormand, Channing Tatum, and Jonah Hill, yet the only part that stood out for me was Jonah Hill as Joseph Silverman, the finance guy.

Brolin as Eddie Mannix runs a Hollywood studio and is in the middle of a career crisis. Clooney is the bankable star who gets kidnapped for money. Fiennes plays a highly respected and temperamental film director. Johansson plays a single pregnant star who does swimming films (think Esther Williams). Tilda Swinton plays two roles, twin opposing gossip columnists Thora and Thessaly Thacker. Frances McDormand as film editor extraordinary. Tatum was a dancing (think Astaire or Kelly) actor. The story is about the trials of running a studio, the communist edge of the 50’s, the behind the scenes stories about actors. There were some funny parts (Hill and Johansson).

Brolin was OK as the studio head, who had no time for his family. Clooney was fair as the kidnapped star who was highly influenced by his kidnappers. Fiennes was very good and the director stuck with an actor who couldn’t act. Johansson was mediocre as the swimming star. Swinton was good in her two roles. Tatum was OK as the dancing communist. Hill, in his minor role, was for me, the best part of the film. Joel and Ethan Coen both wrote and directed this film and I’m sure it sounded better as a discussion than written or filmed.

Overall:  Mediocre film through and through.

The Hateful Eight

First Hit:  A very well shot film that had out loud moments of laughs punctuated on all sides with gore.

Violence is one thing you can depend on in a Quentin Tarantino (Writer and Director) film.

There is no disappoint in this film on that note. Everyone in this film gets a bullet or two. There are also moments of out loud laughs. Some of those laughs come at the expense of absurdity (John “The Hangman” Ruth speaking with Daisy Domergue) while others driven by outlandishly pointed dialogue (Major Marquis Warren speaking with General Sandy Smithers). However, my favorite set of laughs were the issues with closing the door – laughed each time even when I knew it was coming.

There are moments in the dialogue where it seemed that it was being pushed out by the actors and therefore I lost engagement, however those moments were few and far between. Most of the time, the dialogue was so strong, good, and well executed that I was totally immersed in the play of the words.

There is no faulting in any way, shape, or form, the absolutely beauty of the pictures presented on the screen. Even if you don’t like seeing violence, one cannot fault the beautiful way it was shot.

The outside shots of Wyoming, spectacular. The cabin’s close quarters could have felt small and confining, however the film’s format allowed for the real feeling of one large open room for eight people to the interact in and you were there voyeuristically. The storyline around the use of the word "nigger" was OK, not great, as I keep hoping we’ve moved beyond the derogatory use of this term.

Here is it used emphatically to make a point and to paint the connotation of its ugliness when used. The story didn’t hide itself well because both Ruth (Kurt Russell) and Major Warren (Samuel L. Jackson) telegraphed the problem about why all these people were in the cabin without the cabin’s owner being present.

Although there were a number of “Acts”, I’m not sure why the 3rd was so long in comparison. There was an obvious break part way through the third.

Lastly, I’d heard that the film was designed to be shown with a 10 – 15 minute intermission. Our theater did not do this and ran the 187 minute film straight through. Not that I needed or wanted an intermission – I personally don’t like them – despite its length, time went quickly while allowing each scene to breathe and develop.

As Major Warren said at one point:  “… let’s slow it down… let’s slow it way down.”

Jackson was bombastically present in this role as if it was made for him. When he’s laying out a lengthy discourse about his being on the right side of justice, he’s perfect. His eyes telegraph his intense nature. Russell was effortlessly and gruffly suspicious. Wrapped up in a large coat, hat lowered on his forehead, and a face full of hair he was an impeccable rendition of a lone bounty hunter. Jennifer Jason Leigh was oddly amazing as a wanted woman being brought to justice by Ruth. Like a caged cat, her defiance of her keeper, and her hatred towards blacks spewed forth in hisses. Truly a remarkable performance (Oscar worthy). Walter Goggins as newly appointed Sheriff Chris Mannix was very strong as he vacillated between being weak to get an advantage or strong when he was in control of varying situations in the cabin. Demian Bichir as Bob, the suspicious Mexican holding down Minnie’s, was very good stirring the soup of dialogue from time to time. Tim Roth as Oswaldo Mobray the man who hangs people dispassionately was very strong. Interesting that his take so reminded me of Christoph Waltz, that it was a bit eerie. The part could have been done by Waltz but his power would have been too much for the film. Michael Madsen as Joe Gage the quite brooding man with semi-hidden agenda was wonderful. Bruce Dern was great as the old Southern General Sandy Smithers. James Parks as stage coach driver O.B. Jackson was very good especially in the scene when he comes back from the outhouse after dumping the guns in the hole.  Channing Tatum as Jody was great to see. It isn’t often that Tatum plays a heavy and he did this well. Tarantino wrote a mostly wonderful fleshed out script. There were a couple of times where it felt forced or a little stilted coming from the actors, but overall it was very strong. The direction was superb. The camera angles, the broad vista shots, mixed with the wide 70mm lens showing the dance of each of the characters was perfect. The dark humor mixed in with intense situational dialogue was great.

Overall:  This is a strong 8th film by Tarantino and helps his resume.

Jupiter Ascending (3D)

First Hit:  All this film has going for it are a few interesting visuals.

Before I knew it, this film descended into the realm of “are you kidding me?” Not only was the premise stupid the execution of this premise was almost as bad.

The only thing that saved it were some of the visuals. Really:  People owned planets in our galaxy? They were divided up amongst 3 people whose job it was is to harvest human specific DNA stuff to make themselves live longer. Their stated goal - to live as long as one can - even unhappily. The planet owners claimed the only worthwhile commodity that exists is time? Titus Abrasax (Douglas Booth), Kalique Abrasax (Tuppence Middleton) and Balem  Abrasax (Eddie Redmayne) owned planets and did the harvesting.

Each wanted the prize planet Earth (of course where most the human type people live). Kalique and Titus live on spacecraft and Balem lives in the red eye of Jupiter which is protected from the gases by some structure he’s built. With Earth being the most desired planet, each of the Abrasax’s kids are trying to find and entice the rightful owner of Earth to give it up to one of them.

Earth is unknowingly owned by earthling Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who also happens to be their reincarnated mother. When she learns that she owns Earth… OK you may start to get my drift. This story is so far-fetched, complicated and convoluted that it just doesn't (read as "can’t") work. Oh heck, I forgot there is also a hero Cain Wise (Channing Tatum) who flits about on shoes that allow him to skate through life and space at outstanding speeds. Mind you no one else in the film has these skate shoes.

The visuals of the different worlds, of the red eye of Jupiter and the space vehicles are good to very good but that is about it. The dialogue was stilted, the premise undefinable, and the execution miserable.

Kunis was OK, and given the level of story-line, script and direction this is a complement. Booth was bland. Middleton was barely OK. Redmayne was disastrous. The difference between this role and the one as Stephen Hawking is like night and day. Tatum was very disappointing. However for all of these people it wasn’t their acting that brought this down, it was the concept, script and direction. I wonder how they all got bamboozled into taking these roles. Andy and Lana Wachowski did the producers a disservice by actually pitching and making this film.

Overall:  Don’t waste your time. It is bad even in 3D.